JOie de vivre

I was just about to write here how depressed I have been the past few months. Secretive as I am, my friends and co-workers does not realize it though. I try to keep up a happy front, but as janed chua posts in her blog, just because I smile it does not mean my heart does too. I really cried when I read that post because it really hit home. I feel such sadness that has been my constant companion these days. Yet, just as I opened this blog, I came upon a comment of a reader that has somehow inspired me. Unexpectedly, I got a lift from a total stranger.

So, perhaps this post may take on a different tone. My "companion" has for the moment "absented" herself and I somehow feel a little lighter. But I know she will soon back when I'm alone again or just before I sleep and even in the early mornings. I struggle and miraculously I'm able to function though not with such joy that I once was filled with before this envelope of sadness descended upon me. Joie de vivre, a French word, that if memory serves me right meant love of life. I have lost it.